Thursday, 1 March 2012

Unhappy With Your Weight VS Unhappy With Your Physique

Earlier today I typed up a post about how I was going to go back to the start of the Dukan Diet and lose another 20 lbs. I had the whole thing typed up. I was going to start my attack phase the day after I returned form my vacation and that was that, and no matter what anyone would say to me, I could still lose 20 lbs and be at a healthy weight and if anyone had anything to say about it they were wrong because blah blah blah.

Well then, you must be wondering what happened.

I had people saying go for it, I had people saying don't. I wasn't listening to those who said don't. I was still doing it. I'm currently right at the tip for a normal and healthy BMI. I could lose 20 lbs and still be normal and healthy, there are people way thinner than me and no one looks at them and says "Boy she is way too skinny!" No, I could be thinner and it would be healthy.

I was pissed off actually, with the people who said don't do it... Because you know what, if I had always weighed this (155lbs at 5'6.5") and said I wanted to lose 20 lbs then people would be so happy that I was being more health conscious. But because I started off so heavy and have already lost 110 lbs, I feel like people are thinking negatively of my frame of mind, thinking I had changed my eating disorder from overeating to undereating as so many people do, or even that I am addicted to the weight loss.

I think I then realised that I am thin. I might hate my body, a lot. A lot a lot a lot, but I am thin. So I think I need to realise that I am unhappy with my physique and not my weight.

What I am trying to say is that I need to work out, and get fit. This might make me lose more weight and that would be amazing... but it shouldn't be about the number.

Now I have tried too many times to hit the gym consistently. I have tried having a gym partner, motivating myself, writing about it every day on facebook to keep me accountable, signing up for classes I enjoy, tried changing gyms to a gym I prefer. Nothing works for me. If you have been reading my blog you will know that I do not have the willpower for the gym. I might have done this harsh, strict diet and lost 110 lbs without cheating... but when it comes to the gym, forget about it.

I think I have decided that I will get a personal trainer. They are so expensive, really ridiculously overpriced... but I think I have exhausted all my other resources. I just simply cannot force myself to go and when I do go, I cheat at my workouts and half-ass it like crazy.

I need someone in my face, I need to make the appointment and feel guilted into staying and working out hard. So I'm going to look into it, and get a personal trainer. Fml.

Ahhh what an emotionally draining day, really.

Any tips and tricks to stay motivated when it comes to exercise? Anyone?



  1. Go to, and select a video workout program. I have done P90X several times, and my daughter has done the Brazilian Butt Lift program. No place to go, your TV is always available. Nobody to judge you, no wasted travel time. There are a variety of choices, depending on what you like, dance-oriented, weight-lifting, harder, easier, etc etc. Most of the programs are 30-60-90 days, and you'll make some real changes if you commit yourself. All you have to do is push play!

    1. Hmmm, not a lot of room to workout here, but I'm definetally going to take a look at the website and see. Seems really cool. Great advice.

      I was looking for another 'Challenge' like my "Dairy Challenge" to do once the D.C. is over. Maybe one of these 30 - 90 day things is what I need. Thanks!


  2. When (not if) you have selected a program: change into your workout clothes as soon as you get home (from work?). Commit to blogging about it, or find a group online that you can participate in, just like your Dukan community.

  3. I've always had the same issue with the gym. I could not motivate myself to go and if I did, I would half-ass my workouts. I have a mental block when it comes to the gym because I am so,so self conscious(I call it fat girl complex). I could never get myself into the routine of doing a workout program at home either. I'm lucky enough to have a very good friend who works at a physical therapy rehab center that has a full gym. She is also on a weight loss program and her boss allows us to workout in the gym for free after hours. I don't think I'd workout at all if it wasn't for having this situation available to me. I think getting the trainer may be best for you since it seems you just need something/someone to make you accountable. Good luck!

    1. Coco... I'm living in China right now. I'm in a gated community of sky rise apartments. I can stand on my bedroom balcony and look down on the community gym! From the front door of my building to the gym is 67 steps, I actually counted them... I have NO idea why I can't do it. Part of it is the language barrier issue, but another part of me is the "fat girl" mentality. I run past their almost every night in the COLD RAIN and see them in there nice and warm on the treadmill! LOL

    2. Awh, get in there honey!

      Also... man oh man am I ever jealous of you living in China.

      Coco, I always feel when I go to the gym that everyone is watching me work out... obviously not true, but I feel so self concious, it's true XP
      Keep working out, avoid getting the loose skin that I have started getting, ugh. I am so not happy with my body right now, I'm going to Florida and want to wear a bikini... I mean I have lost 110lbs since the last time I was there right? But I feel like my body is so jelly, right? Just jiggling all over the place.

      I shouldn't be MORE self conscious about my body than I was, but I am.

      Personal trainer it is, I can't wait to look into more. I'll let you know how it goes.


  4. From reading your posts, it seems like you are the type of person who needs a challenge. So a generic "going to the gym" doesn't seem to be cut out for you. Maybe you need to work toward something? Like a 5K? I don't know, some sort of goal, a challenge ...
    I personally like the gym and working out, but like staying at home and reading even better. So I go through phases.
    Also: does it have to be the gym? How about hiking? Power yoga (like ashtanga ... takes care of cardio and weights in one)?
    Just some thoughts.

  5. I agree with Moonday - you need a challenge. Lots of gyms have these little competitions, where you do a 12 week excercise program and the person with the best physique at the end of it wins something - I've always thought that it can't be hard to get in shape once you're thin, I'm sure it will be much easier for you now than if you had tried it a year ago!
    YOu just need to find what motivates YOU! As I said, it's usually something I had to spend a lot of money on - like a personal trainer :)

  6. These are really wonderful ideas in on the topic of blogging.
    You have touched some good things here. Any way
    keep up wrinting.

    Here is my homepage; quantrim

  7. When someone writes an piece of writing he/she retains the idea of a user
    in his/her mind that how a user can be aware of it. So that's why this post is perfect. Thanks!

    Here is my homepage; review of quantrim