Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Prawns Dilemma – Advice Needed!

Poor guy, so Prawn hit Consolidation on the same day as I did (Feb 6th). He hadn’t hit his target weight (still weighed 250lbs) but hadn’t lost any weight since early December and since he was only on Dukan to support me, decided to support me on through Consolidation and try again when Phase 3 was over.

A week into Consolidation Prawn made a very brave decision, to go back on Phase 1, and start all over, to try and lose between 20 and 40 lbs.

Currently weighing in at 243lbs Prawn has lost 7lbs since early December (that’s a grand total of almost 6 months) and is fed up with the diet.

Now, we have been discussing it extensively. No, he doesn’t feel like he is putting all the effort he could be into the diet. Not that he is cheating, it’s just he isn’t watching his portion sizes, he is skipping breakfast, sometimes lunch. He is eating rotisserie chicken from Walmart every day (very very fatty chicken), and isn’t really TRYING.

But he is bored with the diet, and frustrated, and feels alone now that I am doing my bodybuilding diet.
Now our diets are very similar, in fact, mine is more strict than his. But he still feels alone, this not being the main reason he wants to quit.

I told him to go onto phase 3. Eating fruit, bread, cheese, a cheat meal a week. It’s so easy, while still being healthy and a little restrictive.

He is not interested. He just wants to go off the diet altogether. A huge problem for me.

He says he doesn’t want to binge, he doesn’t want to eat pizza or bad foods. He wants to make the good choices on his own accord.

Now, here is another problem I have with this, he says Dukan doesn’t allow him to make choices. This isn’t true.

Within the confines of the Dukan Diet you can make good and bad choices. You can make your lunch in advance, a salad, tomatoes, peppers, lean chicken or turkey. These are good choices. Or, you could make the choices he has been making, one or two rotisserie chickens a day. He is making the bad choices on the diet with barely any negative consequences because he is making these bad decisions within the rules of the Dukan Diet.
Now if he can’t make good decisions within these strict rules, there is nothing to lead me to believe that without these rules he will continue to make bad decisions, but with greater consequenses.

I can’t force him to do anything. I wont be upset if he quits Dukan, I am just so fearful for him to gain the weight back.

He doesn’t like how he looks, which is what weirds me out the most. Just doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t feel comfortable at this weight, so why doesn’t he just buckle down, watch his portion sizes and eat leaner meats?

He says if he starts working out he expects to lose the weight and feel better about himself… but you can’t eat an entire pizza, but workout for an hour and lose weight. (Not that he wants to eat an entire pizza.)

I asked him what he wants to eat for lunch instead of rotisserie chicken. He told me he wants a salad with dressing. I told him to do a modified phase 2 or phase 3 where you are allowed dressing, he told me he is not interested. I don’t get it.

So, what does he do? I know there aren’t many options left… let me recap, Prawn does not want to :
  • Stay on Phase 2
  • Do a modified Phase 2
  • Go onto Consolidation
  • Have anything to do with the Dukan Diet
  • Binge eat or have a cheat meal (Yes, he has told me he doesn’t even want a cheat meal a week)

… What does he do?



  1. That is so tough. I know how it is to be in that place. I have tried so many times and done so much that sometimes you do just get tired of always "following" something. He loves you a great deal to have put all those feelings on the back burner and buckled down to try and even succeed. I say suggest to him that he at least keep a log of the food he does choose to eat while he is following the "I'm living my life without following anything" plan. Cause even if you don't choose to follow anything, that in itself is a choice to follow something...I know, deep, but true. If he keeps a log at least then he will be able to identify the recurring theme of food that he bucked the system in order to be able to enjoy. Then again, it could be no more than just needing a break. Be strong for him. Hugs....

  2. Some people can lose weight not following any particular plan as long as they eat in a healthy way and work out. If it works for him, he'll keep at it and drop lots of pounds. If it doesn't, maybe he'll come back to a more regimented diet like Dukan. A food log sounds good. I would emphasize the working out part, which may be exactly what he needs mentally and physically. No diet is perfect for everyone. Let Dukan go for now for him. His journey isn't going to be the same as yours.

  3. I forgot to mention, I have a close friend who is eating healthfully, watching portions, and swimming, and she's lost 20lb already in the last few months.

  4. Mamma in Maine23 May 2012 at 09:14

    First-- to say you don't want to binge eat, or have cheat meals is one thing. Binge eating by loose definition is not a planned thing. Tools to prevent this are needed.
    Is he interested in following any diet at all? Maybe you guys can explore other options for him, that will give him some guidelines at least (ie portion limits, meal plans, etc) to give him a way to have some choice, without so much restriction? is a website I see a lot of people using-- it plans out calorie counts, menus, etc and has a lot of flexibility. I'm sure there are many more.
    Best wishes. By knowing you can't make the choice for him will help you, but being there for him will help him.

  5. I understand what he's feeling. Sometimes you just get so sick of 'being on a diet'... he just needs a break from thinking about food. Would he be interested in not being on any diet but avoiding all wheat and sugar? Or perhaps he just needs two weeks off everything. Eat whatever he wants them reassess how he went and if he binged or not etc.... If while being off the diet he makes good choices and has salads etc... perhaps he can do this without dieting?!?! Good luck.

  6. I would suggest that starts paleo/low carb. It is fairly low fat and not loads of meat - just really healthy choices but no wheat or potato or sugar. It is not as strict as Dukan because it is not a "diet". I find tons of choices - perhaps he could read up on that? I have loads of links on my links page. Good luck.

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